Devon and I met at Northwestern State University in August 2005. We were both in band. Somehow he had already developed this reputation of being this hilarious guy among all of our friends and I was dying to meet him. One day at band practice, this guy walked up while I was talking to a mutual friend. He was all smiles and this crazy hair and he made me laugh right away. From then on, I knew I found a man that I could count on...could trust.
He was my best friend all through college. He was there through some of the hardest times of my life. And through it all, we both wanted more. More than friendship. Feelings were growing every moment we spent together. But I was with someone else. I was in a relationship. But it was bad...so bad. The person I was dating was not the kind of person I should be with...but I digress.
For three years, we spent time together and developed a wonderful friendship. I left college what would have been our senior year. I gypsy-ied around for a while and Devon finished up school. And somehow, God brought us back together in August of 2009.
I wrote this shortly after Devon and I started dating two years ago. It sums up how we finally started dating.
Perfection. The night has been absolute magic. His smile, his laugh, the looks. I must be imagining this, I tell myself over and over again. He is my friend, my confidant, the shoulder I've cried on. Nothing more. He could not possibly be feeling what I'm feeling. But he's also the hand I want to hold, the arms I want wrapped around me and the mouth that I have so desperately wanted to kiss for so long.
He needs to go and I am breaking inside. I know he deserves better but I want to shout WANT ME! My mind is racing with all of the things I want to say but can't. All these years...and I still can't make myself admit to him what has been there all along. As we sit on the hood of his car my mind clears momentarily. The night has the that kind of humidity that makes me think of meat pies, the way the river smells and all the things that I adore about Louisiana. He's one of them. Always has been. I think back to all the moments that we have shared together. How could I have ever thought that I had gotten over him? That what I felt for him was a simple little crush? Was I kidding myself or just in denial?
We hug goodnight and I lay my head on his shoulder like I've wanted to do so many times before. He pulls me closer and my breath catches. Can he feel that my heart is pounding out of my chest, the betrayer that it is? Can he hear that I can no longer breathe? Our faces touch and I'm in heaven. Or hell, if this does not go any further.
We reminisce. We talk of the past, the time we've spent together. We laugh at the old jokes we shared, the memories made. His breath is on my face and he is so close to me. Can he feel my eyelashes flutter on his cheeks? My heartbeat is so loud that I'm certain now that he can hear it. His fingers trace a trail on my shoulder and I could lose myself in those patterns for hours. An inch of space or less is all that separates our lips.
Now I know I'm crazy. Did his breath just catch? Did he just pull me closer to him, minimizing what little space was left between us? Then, when I think that I can't take being this close to him anymore, he kisses me. Quite simply, it is though most of my life has been leading up to this moment. We fall into one another and it is better than my mind could have ever pictured. I'm shaking and I can't think or breathe or live anymore. There's no going back from this moment.
I love, love, love Devon. Everyday, I still feel exactly the same way. Sometimes when I put my head on his shoulder, I am right back to that exact moment when he FINALLY (lol) kissed me. I am so lucky to have him. And I cannot wait to be his wife :)
Until next time, I'm going to go continue being the luckiest girl in the world with the best fiance
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